I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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