It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
