i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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