i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i barfeds in our rink
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
