Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you traded sex for a burrito?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
