Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
