Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
