Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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