pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
