Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
