Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you win again, gameday.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
