All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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