i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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