You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
