We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Drunk is a universal language darling
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