you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
