I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
