A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
