Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i believe in u and ur pee
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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