God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
