I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
