i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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