Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize