I want to stick my p in your. b.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
