in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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