I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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