flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
