end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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