yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
