nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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