Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
