Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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