oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
