I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
