so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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