You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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