Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
false alarm, still single
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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