I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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