I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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