I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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