so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
