Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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