I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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