question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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