The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
