In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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