hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
