he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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