Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
