oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
