hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
